I realize that I haven't posted anything in a while and I need to get back in the habit of sharing my thoughts on my blog. The holidays certainly did a number on my normal calendar, but they were great just the same. I've got several projects I'm working on at the moment also, so I'm playing the role of juggler here.
Anyway, before I get to tangenting, I wanted to talk about self image. I got to thinking on this topic while Craig and I watched the Victoria Secret's Fashion Show this evening. Craig and I have watched this show every year since we started dating and we're always entertained. We find the costumes and designs to be very creative and fascinating and we also enjoy all of the music.
As we watched the show tonight I kept reading posts from my female friends on Face Book. The show definitely drew a crowd of viewers, but so many of the comments were negative in regards to the poster's own self image. Comments like "I could never be that skinny/tall/beautiful were the prevailing mood, and I became a bit upset seeing all of the negative.
I'm the first to admit that I don't always have a positive comment to say about my body image. I know there are things that I can change, and there are things that I will always live with. A shirt that I like to wear will feel too snug and I'll become dejected. A pair of pants fit too tight and I have nothing to wear. (Not the case ever, as I always have something I can wear, but you know what I mean.) I know these aspects affect me and I also know how to change them. And I also know that I have the power to choose my attitude, and that makes all of the difference.
I have tried a variety of different options in the past to change my image, whether it be a new shade of strawberry blonde hair dye or cutting out all fried foods for a month. Overuse of hair dye made my hair thin out to the point where now I just shave it off, and who am I kidding? I'm always going to have cravings for fried foods. What I've realized is that it's more important to be concerned with your health than your physical appearance. I've been making small steps toward progress in becoming a healthier person as opposed to a "skinny" person. I know that one effect of choosing healthier options is that I may lose some weight, and that's fine with me. But simply losing weight isn't the goal for me anymore. Being healthy is.
And that's not to say anything negative against people who are skinny. I have many friends who I would qualify as skinny, friends who would fall into the average-sized category, and friends who have some substance to them. They're all my friends. What makes all of them beautiful isn't the way they look, it's the way their heart projects their soul onto me and the world around them. I've known people who are "pretty" but have a soul as black as the midnight sky. I've known people who'd never enter a beauty contest who radiate warmth and love and joy in every situation they engage in. They are the people who are truly beautiful to me.
I think it's past the time we need to start learning to put more love into our self. When those negative thoughts and voices enter our heads, we need to remember that they're just noise. We're all beautiful people, whether we're models or sewer treatment specialists. It's time that we learn to appreciate the beauty inside, and let that be the image we project to the rest of the world. It's a beautiful thing that should never be hidden.
And in addition to tuning in to model's and fashion shows, let's also make the choice to watch and support those outside of the mainstream fashion world. Volunteer some time at a soup kitchen or with habitat for humanity. Visit a senior center or a youth shelter. You'll get the chance to witness the beauty that comes from within, and the light inside you will glow a little bit brighter too.
As a final thought, to those friends of mine who will read this, you are beautiful! Don't ever let outside forces (or your mind) tell you otherwise. I look at you and know you and see a bright spirit residing in each of you. It's the image I see, and I hope that when you look in the mirror each day it's what you see too.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
What I'm Listening to Wednesday
It's that time of the week again! I've been listening to quite a bit of music this week, but I've managed to focus all that I've been enjoying into a top five for this week. And I've added them to my WILTW playlist on spotify, so feel free to check them out if you'd like the audio reference!
1. Banditos- The Refreshments
Last Friday out of nowhere this song popped into my head. I can't remember now what the trigger was, but I'm so glad that it happened. Quite possibly it was the song lyric "Everybody knows, that the world is full of stupid people." I may have had an exposure to one, and thankfully the reaction was thinking of this song and not doing something less polite. Jana and I used to listen to this song on repeat back in the day. She had the CD, but we both enjoyed it. Hearing it today still makes me happy.
2. Apartment-Young the Giant
Young the Giant are a relatively new band who've been getting more exposure this year. They have some catchy tunes and from what I've seen are also pretty great live. They performed this year on the MTV music awards and caught my ears. I downloaded their full album and I'm glad I did. The opening song on the disc is "Apartment," and I catch myself singing this song in my head on a regular basis. Definitely something to check out. Plus, Young the Giant are performing in Des Moines in March of next year, and I really hope to go.
3. I Smile- Kirk Franklin
I first heard this song earlier this year on the American Idol finale. Jacob Lusk performed it with Kirk Franklin and I thought, what a nice song. I downloaded the original version, and like the title states, when I listen to the song, I do smile. :) See, it's contagious. :) There are many positive lyrics in this song, and you can't help but feel better when you listen to it. I dare you to listen to it and not feel better by the end of the song. It's perfect for Monday mornings, rainy days, or any time you need a pick me up.
4. Something Stupid- The Secret Sisters
I've recently discovered the Secret Sisters and I'm captivated by them. The Secret Sisters are Laura and Lydia Rogers, and they are classified as country/americana music. I classify them as awesome. The duo have incredible harmonies and their album mixes original songs with covers. Their cover of Something Stupid is one of my favorites on their album.
5. For Today- Jessica Lea Mayfield
I discovered Jessica Lea Mayfield from a free download on I-tunes earlier this Spring. I thought her song was pretty interesting, and when Craig and I heard she would be performing at 80/35 I decided I wanted to see her live. She was definitely one of the highlights of the festival for me. She has a gorgeous, sometimes haunting voice and she has beautiful eyes too. Her performance at 80/35 made me a true fan, and I haven't stopped listening to her since. During her performance, technical difficulties caused the sound to be cut. Rather than letting this end the show, Jessica just went and sat on the edge of the stage, the crowd moved in closer, and she played accoustically and sang. It was a beautiful moment and I'm so glad I was able to experience it. Last night, I managed to catch the majority of the Americana Music Festival on IPTV. The festival was taking place as Craig and I were leaving Nashville on our honeymoon. Jessica was one of the performers, and she sang "For Today." It was my favorite performance of the show. Please give her a listen. I think you'll be impressed. And if you aren't, I'm still going to listen to her on repeat. :)
1. Banditos- The Refreshments
Last Friday out of nowhere this song popped into my head. I can't remember now what the trigger was, but I'm so glad that it happened. Quite possibly it was the song lyric "Everybody knows, that the world is full of stupid people." I may have had an exposure to one, and thankfully the reaction was thinking of this song and not doing something less polite. Jana and I used to listen to this song on repeat back in the day. She had the CD, but we both enjoyed it. Hearing it today still makes me happy.
2. Apartment-Young the Giant
Young the Giant are a relatively new band who've been getting more exposure this year. They have some catchy tunes and from what I've seen are also pretty great live. They performed this year on the MTV music awards and caught my ears. I downloaded their full album and I'm glad I did. The opening song on the disc is "Apartment," and I catch myself singing this song in my head on a regular basis. Definitely something to check out. Plus, Young the Giant are performing in Des Moines in March of next year, and I really hope to go.
3. I Smile- Kirk Franklin
I first heard this song earlier this year on the American Idol finale. Jacob Lusk performed it with Kirk Franklin and I thought, what a nice song. I downloaded the original version, and like the title states, when I listen to the song, I do smile. :) See, it's contagious. :) There are many positive lyrics in this song, and you can't help but feel better when you listen to it. I dare you to listen to it and not feel better by the end of the song. It's perfect for Monday mornings, rainy days, or any time you need a pick me up.
4. Something Stupid- The Secret Sisters
I've recently discovered the Secret Sisters and I'm captivated by them. The Secret Sisters are Laura and Lydia Rogers, and they are classified as country/americana music. I classify them as awesome. The duo have incredible harmonies and their album mixes original songs with covers. Their cover of Something Stupid is one of my favorites on their album.
5. For Today- Jessica Lea Mayfield
I discovered Jessica Lea Mayfield from a free download on I-tunes earlier this Spring. I thought her song was pretty interesting, and when Craig and I heard she would be performing at 80/35 I decided I wanted to see her live. She was definitely one of the highlights of the festival for me. She has a gorgeous, sometimes haunting voice and she has beautiful eyes too. Her performance at 80/35 made me a true fan, and I haven't stopped listening to her since. During her performance, technical difficulties caused the sound to be cut. Rather than letting this end the show, Jessica just went and sat on the edge of the stage, the crowd moved in closer, and she played accoustically and sang. It was a beautiful moment and I'm so glad I was able to experience it. Last night, I managed to catch the majority of the Americana Music Festival on IPTV. The festival was taking place as Craig and I were leaving Nashville on our honeymoon. Jessica was one of the performers, and she sang "For Today." It was my favorite performance of the show. Please give her a listen. I think you'll be impressed. And if you aren't, I'm still going to listen to her on repeat. :)
Realists vs. Dreamers
Happy Thanksgiving Eve!
I'm very excited that tomorrow I get to celebrate my favorite of all holidays. As I like to say "What could be better than Thanksgiving? You get to eat and say Thank you. What else do you need?"
I was going to write a post about being thankful, which I may still do, but TV viewing this evening has changed my focus. Craig and I enjoyed a nice evening at home this evening hanging out and watching some TV. We're late to the party, but we've discovered that we really enjoy Modern Family. We have a DVR full of episodes that we need to catch up on, but this evening we were able to watch the new episode.
For those of you who watch but haven't seen tonight's episode, this blog contains "spoilers," so you may need to stop reading now until you've seen the episode.
Now that I've given my disclaimer, tonight's episode focused around Thanksgiving, and began with a former neighbor of Phil and Claire's coming to visit. The nieghbor had become quite successful for taking risks and is now an entrepenuer with his hands in several different businesses. He made a statement that when faced with a decision, he would ask what Phil would do in that situation, and then he'd do it. This set up the basic premise of the entire episode.
Claire was focusing on getting the Thanksgiving dinner and festivities together in her typical Type A style. She needed Phil to get things together for the dinner, and each time he'd come up with a unique or creative idea she would have to shoot him down and get him to do what she wanted for the dinner. Phil came to decide that Claire was squashing all of his creativity.
In a side plot line, Cam was feeling upset after he told his famous "Chuckin Punkin" story and Mitchell told him it wasn't a believable story and he shouldn't waste people's time telling some of his stories. Cam felt like Mitchell didn't support him and didn't believe his stories were true.
And in the third side story, Jay and Gloria argued over whether Manny needed to hear constructive criticism after creating a Thanksgiving centerpiece. Jay didn't think the centerpiece was one of Manny's better projects, but Gloria praised him and told Jay she had always been put down by her mother and she didn't want Manny to hear anything negative as it would break his spirit.
All three plot points were played out quite nicely with several big laughs, as they typically are on the show. The culmination of all three story points came to a head at the Thanksgiving dinner, as the Pritchett family members took the side of the realists, while their respective spouses/families took the role of the dreamers. When Cam made a comment about his Chuckin Punkin story, which all of the family had heard several times, Cam mentioned that Mitchell didn't believe this story could actually have taken place. So to settle it once and for all, the family decided to go and "chuck" a pumpkin to see if it truly could have flown clear across a football field.
In the end of course, the pumpkin didn't fly as far as Cam had always said it did. But instead of gloating about being right, the Pritchett's realized they didn't feel good proving the dreamers wrong, and ended up encouraging them to keep trying to make it happen. With their combined efforts the pumpkins flew farther and farther.
I think this is a great message to be reminded of from time to time. I think that in most situations I have a decent balance of dreamer and realist in my decision making process. I'd like to say that in most situations though the dreamer side of me wins out. Craig and I discussed this and he is definitely more of a realist, but he has his dreamer moments too. When we work together we often end up successful. There was a great line in the show tonight that basically said " The realists are there to keep the dreamers from flying directly into the sun, and the dreamers are there to help the realists get off the ground."
This has me thinking about what are the dreams I have that I'm not trying to make happen because I'm letting the reality of the situation get in the way, and also about the things that I could improve by dreaming a bit more than I do now. I wonder what I could accomplish by realizing my dreams, and I wonder what my followers could do if they followed their dreams too. What an exciting world we'd live in if we all stopped just thinking about our dreams and started making them happen.
But to keep myself balanced, I think I'll keep my realist around. If nothing else, he'll be there to celebrate with me when I do accomplish my dreams. :)
I'm very excited that tomorrow I get to celebrate my favorite of all holidays. As I like to say "What could be better than Thanksgiving? You get to eat and say Thank you. What else do you need?"
I was going to write a post about being thankful, which I may still do, but TV viewing this evening has changed my focus. Craig and I enjoyed a nice evening at home this evening hanging out and watching some TV. We're late to the party, but we've discovered that we really enjoy Modern Family. We have a DVR full of episodes that we need to catch up on, but this evening we were able to watch the new episode.
For those of you who watch but haven't seen tonight's episode, this blog contains "spoilers," so you may need to stop reading now until you've seen the episode.
Now that I've given my disclaimer, tonight's episode focused around Thanksgiving, and began with a former neighbor of Phil and Claire's coming to visit. The nieghbor had become quite successful for taking risks and is now an entrepenuer with his hands in several different businesses. He made a statement that when faced with a decision, he would ask what Phil would do in that situation, and then he'd do it. This set up the basic premise of the entire episode.
Claire was focusing on getting the Thanksgiving dinner and festivities together in her typical Type A style. She needed Phil to get things together for the dinner, and each time he'd come up with a unique or creative idea she would have to shoot him down and get him to do what she wanted for the dinner. Phil came to decide that Claire was squashing all of his creativity.
In a side plot line, Cam was feeling upset after he told his famous "Chuckin Punkin" story and Mitchell told him it wasn't a believable story and he shouldn't waste people's time telling some of his stories. Cam felt like Mitchell didn't support him and didn't believe his stories were true.
And in the third side story, Jay and Gloria argued over whether Manny needed to hear constructive criticism after creating a Thanksgiving centerpiece. Jay didn't think the centerpiece was one of Manny's better projects, but Gloria praised him and told Jay she had always been put down by her mother and she didn't want Manny to hear anything negative as it would break his spirit.
All three plot points were played out quite nicely with several big laughs, as they typically are on the show. The culmination of all three story points came to a head at the Thanksgiving dinner, as the Pritchett family members took the side of the realists, while their respective spouses/families took the role of the dreamers. When Cam made a comment about his Chuckin Punkin story, which all of the family had heard several times, Cam mentioned that Mitchell didn't believe this story could actually have taken place. So to settle it once and for all, the family decided to go and "chuck" a pumpkin to see if it truly could have flown clear across a football field.
In the end of course, the pumpkin didn't fly as far as Cam had always said it did. But instead of gloating about being right, the Pritchett's realized they didn't feel good proving the dreamers wrong, and ended up encouraging them to keep trying to make it happen. With their combined efforts the pumpkins flew farther and farther.
I think this is a great message to be reminded of from time to time. I think that in most situations I have a decent balance of dreamer and realist in my decision making process. I'd like to say that in most situations though the dreamer side of me wins out. Craig and I discussed this and he is definitely more of a realist, but he has his dreamer moments too. When we work together we often end up successful. There was a great line in the show tonight that basically said " The realists are there to keep the dreamers from flying directly into the sun, and the dreamers are there to help the realists get off the ground."
This has me thinking about what are the dreams I have that I'm not trying to make happen because I'm letting the reality of the situation get in the way, and also about the things that I could improve by dreaming a bit more than I do now. I wonder what I could accomplish by realizing my dreams, and I wonder what my followers could do if they followed their dreams too. What an exciting world we'd live in if we all stopped just thinking about our dreams and started making them happen.
But to keep myself balanced, I think I'll keep my realist around. If nothing else, he'll be there to celebrate with me when I do accomplish my dreams. :)
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Apple Donut
Sometimes I like to use my blog for the random moments that happen in life. One such moment happened today, and I’m going to share it with you.
As I was heading to my morning break today, my friend Jenny waved me over to her desk. She had donuts from Krispy Kreme at her desk and she offered one to me. There were several to choose from. One of the donuts had a cut down the middle of it, and she presented the donut as “being totally fine.” Our friend Meggin had a curiosity about the filling of the donut, so she cut it in half to find out what it was. Jenny said that no one was interested in taking the apple-filled donut because it now had a cut through the middle of it. I decided that was the donut I would choose. Jenny told me she was sure it would be good. I told her I would provide her with a review, and she said I should blog about it.
Never one to back down from a challenge, I’m now blogging about the apple-filled donut. It was quite delicious. I would recommend them to others. It had a cinnamon/powdered sugar coating, and of course the apple filling in the middle. I guess it’s a reminder of the “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” variety. I could have chosen a better looking donut, but then I’d have missed out on the delicious option I chose. So now I’ve not only blogged about the donut, but I’ve made it a little life lesson.
As I was heading to my morning break today, my friend Jenny waved me over to her desk. She had donuts from Krispy Kreme at her desk and she offered one to me. There were several to choose from. One of the donuts had a cut down the middle of it, and she presented the donut as “being totally fine.” Our friend Meggin had a curiosity about the filling of the donut, so she cut it in half to find out what it was. Jenny said that no one was interested in taking the apple-filled donut because it now had a cut through the middle of it. I decided that was the donut I would choose. Jenny told me she was sure it would be good. I told her I would provide her with a review, and she said I should blog about it.
Never one to back down from a challenge, I’m now blogging about the apple-filled donut. It was quite delicious. I would recommend them to others. It had a cinnamon/powdered sugar coating, and of course the apple filling in the middle. I guess it’s a reminder of the “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” variety. I could have chosen a better looking donut, but then I’d have missed out on the delicious option I chose. So now I’ve not only blogged about the donut, but I’ve made it a little life lesson.
What I'm Listening to Wednesday 11-16-2011
I’m a little behind schedule on getting this posted, but hopefully you can forgive me. I’m listening to a random mix of music again this week. I’ve also recently discovered Spotify, which has helped me discover some new music as well as re-connect with some old favorites. It’s a great service, and if you have it, you’re in for a treat. I’ve created a “What I’m Listening To Wednesday” play list with my Spotify account! If you’re a member, you can access my playlists and hear the songs I’m referencing. I think it’s a fun way to make my blog a little more interactive.
Here are my picks for this week.
1. Rumour Has It/ Someone Like You (mash up) – Glee Cast By now you are all aware that I am a bona fide Gleek, and this week’s episode was really good! There was humor, there was drama, and some great music. Glee has done several mash-up songs during their time on air, and most of them have been pretty clever and entertaining. This week’s episode actually featured four mash-ups, and the Adele mix is by far my favorite! Two of the most powerful singers in the cast, taking on two big-voiced soulful tracks together made for a mash-up of epic proportions. I can’t stop playing this! And from the I-tunes sales records, I’m not the only one. This song also happened to be the 300th performance on Glee since its beginning, so it holds a little place in Gleek history too!
2. Otis- Jay-Z & Kanye West I know this song isn’t “new” at this point, but it’s such a stellar track that I keep finding it in regular rotation for me. It’s a great mixture of classic and contemporary, and the beat is insane! As soon as the bass kicks in on this song I want to drum on the closest available surface. Otis Redding is a soul legend, so to hear his rich, melodic voice is always a treat. Combine that with the hard and fast rhymes of two of the biggest names in hip-hop/rap right now, and you’re bound to have a hit. Just listen to it and tell me you won’t walk around singing “na na na” in your head.
3. Lucky One- Amy Grant I know you’re probably scratching your head on this one and thinking “one of these things is not like the other.” I realize this wouldn’t be an obvious choice of a song I’d be listening to on repeat. But I am. So there. Yesterday one of my co-workers was looking for a supervisor, and when she found one that was available she said “Ah, you’re the lucky one.” Instantly that phrase triggered memories of this song for me, and I was taken back to the days when I worked in radio, way back in high school. I started humming the tune and looked it up on my Spotify as soon as I got home. It makes me smile and it makes me nostalgic, so it’s on the list this week. This was a hit on the Leeza Gibbons Adult Contemporary Countdown, and gosh darn if it doesn’t hold a little place in my heart.:)
4. Midnight City- M83 Completely changing gears, this next song I actually discovered from the latest Victoria Secret’s commercial. Yep, I find my music just about anywhere. I had heard the brief clip of this song and thought it had a cool, electronic/industrial tone to it. I did a little research and found out who was performing the song, and I looked it up. It’s very atmospheric and interesting to listen to. Their most recent album is a two-disc set, and there are several stand out songs in the mix. I of course listened to them on Spotify, and they’re now on my list for future purchasing.
5. Shake It Out- Florence + the Machine Florence Welch is so cool! By now you have probably heard of Florence + the Machine, or at least have heard some of their music. The band recently released a new album called “Ceremonials,” and it’s receiving heaps of critical praise. And for good reason. The album freakin’ rocks! Florence Welch has a very soulful yet ethereal quality to her voice, and her range is incredible. The song “Shake it Out” is a stand out track from the new album, and it’s got a classic F+TM vibe to it. By the time she gets to the soaring chorus, you feel surrounded by the anthemic qualities of the song. It’s definitely worth checking out if you haven’t done so yet.
And there you have it. Next week may be the last week of music that doesn’t include any holiday selections. I am refusing to listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving, but as soon as the holiday is over, all bets are off. J With new holiday music being released by She & Him and Glee, you know I’ll probably have something to say about it. Happy listening!
Here are my picks for this week.
1. Rumour Has It/ Someone Like You (mash up) – Glee Cast By now you are all aware that I am a bona fide Gleek, and this week’s episode was really good! There was humor, there was drama, and some great music. Glee has done several mash-up songs during their time on air, and most of them have been pretty clever and entertaining. This week’s episode actually featured four mash-ups, and the Adele mix is by far my favorite! Two of the most powerful singers in the cast, taking on two big-voiced soulful tracks together made for a mash-up of epic proportions. I can’t stop playing this! And from the I-tunes sales records, I’m not the only one. This song also happened to be the 300th performance on Glee since its beginning, so it holds a little place in Gleek history too!
2. Otis- Jay-Z & Kanye West I know this song isn’t “new” at this point, but it’s such a stellar track that I keep finding it in regular rotation for me. It’s a great mixture of classic and contemporary, and the beat is insane! As soon as the bass kicks in on this song I want to drum on the closest available surface. Otis Redding is a soul legend, so to hear his rich, melodic voice is always a treat. Combine that with the hard and fast rhymes of two of the biggest names in hip-hop/rap right now, and you’re bound to have a hit. Just listen to it and tell me you won’t walk around singing “na na na” in your head.
3. Lucky One- Amy Grant I know you’re probably scratching your head on this one and thinking “one of these things is not like the other.” I realize this wouldn’t be an obvious choice of a song I’d be listening to on repeat. But I am. So there. Yesterday one of my co-workers was looking for a supervisor, and when she found one that was available she said “Ah, you’re the lucky one.” Instantly that phrase triggered memories of this song for me, and I was taken back to the days when I worked in radio, way back in high school. I started humming the tune and looked it up on my Spotify as soon as I got home. It makes me smile and it makes me nostalgic, so it’s on the list this week. This was a hit on the Leeza Gibbons Adult Contemporary Countdown, and gosh darn if it doesn’t hold a little place in my heart.:)
4. Midnight City- M83 Completely changing gears, this next song I actually discovered from the latest Victoria Secret’s commercial. Yep, I find my music just about anywhere. I had heard the brief clip of this song and thought it had a cool, electronic/industrial tone to it. I did a little research and found out who was performing the song, and I looked it up. It’s very atmospheric and interesting to listen to. Their most recent album is a two-disc set, and there are several stand out songs in the mix. I of course listened to them on Spotify, and they’re now on my list for future purchasing.
5. Shake It Out- Florence + the Machine Florence Welch is so cool! By now you have probably heard of Florence + the Machine, or at least have heard some of their music. The band recently released a new album called “Ceremonials,” and it’s receiving heaps of critical praise. And for good reason. The album freakin’ rocks! Florence Welch has a very soulful yet ethereal quality to her voice, and her range is incredible. The song “Shake it Out” is a stand out track from the new album, and it’s got a classic F+TM vibe to it. By the time she gets to the soaring chorus, you feel surrounded by the anthemic qualities of the song. It’s definitely worth checking out if you haven’t done so yet.
And there you have it. Next week may be the last week of music that doesn’t include any holiday selections. I am refusing to listen to Christmas music before Thanksgiving, but as soon as the holiday is over, all bets are off. J With new holiday music being released by She & Him and Glee, you know I’ll probably have something to say about it. Happy listening!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Identity crisis
I’ve been having trouble getting time to write my blog over the last few days, but I had a free moment and wanted to sit and share my thoughts. Over the past few days I’ve had reminders of the impact society has on the way we act. I find it somewhat puzzling that we allow this to happen, but I know I’m just as guilty as the next one when it comes to it. My first example of this comes from last Friday.
On Veterans Day, my sister and I decided to volunteer our time for the community. My brother-in-law was in the Marines, and I have other friends and family who have served our country, and I couldn’t think of a better way to honor them than by doing something to give to others. We decided to help set up displays at Water Works Park for the Jolly Holiday Lights festivities that will start soon. The Jolly Holiday Lights is an annual fundraiser for the Make-A-Wish foundation, and proceeds from the event go towards the granting of these wishes. I think this is such an amazing cause and organization, so I was more than happy to help.
Our volunteer job that day consisted of helping assemble the various light-up displays that people drive through and view. The displays are made of piping and wire and of course lots of lights. As these displays can be rather large, they aren’t stored in one piece, but broken down into smaller sections that are later assembled for display. We met with our volunteer crew to travel around the park and put the displays together. Upon meeting our crew leader, he gave a chuckle at us, and said “You two have never done this before, have you?” I don’t know if he was implying that we were wearing the wrong clothes, didn’t have the right tools, or what exactly, but it doesn’t give the best first impression.
After a quick explanation of what we would be doing, we set right into getting the displays put together. Our main task was to assemble the sections together, so a lot of bolt and screw tightening and loosening would be the task of the day. This sounds simple enough, but at times my sister and I both found this to be a challenge. Some of the bolts were very tight on the piping, and others were somewhat stripped and difficult to tighten into place. But faced with the task, we both jumped right in to help where we could and never complained about it.
After putting together maybe half a dozen displays or so, our volunteer leader said “You must have a desk job.” I jokingly replied “Is it that obvious?” but inside I admit I was a bit annoyed. Yes, I work at a desk every day. I don’t claim to be a pro when it comes to carpentry, mechanics and similar tasks. Regardless of that, I’m still willing to try it out and do what I can to help, especially when I know it’s for a good cause. As all of this was happening though, I began to question my “manliness.” It’s silly of me to do, but it’s something that happens from time to time. Certain social settings or situations can cause me to feel inadequate in some way. I know in my heart that I’m not, but I still admit to feeling that pressure from society to fit the norm of what people think I should be.
I can also feel this pressure from groups in which I do “belong.” Being a gay man, it’s often perceived that I have a knack for decorating and art. While I can tell you whether something looks nice or not, I’d never claim myself to be an interior designer. I recall an experience a few years ago where I was asked to wrap several boxes to serve as a holiday display for an employer. I can get wrapping paper on a box, but it’s not going to be pretty. One of my co-workers noticed me struggling to get one of the boxes covered. Her response was, “isn’t that like second nature to you?” Again I replied jokingly that I must have skipped that class during my training.
Upon reflection of all of this, I realize that in each of these situations, I had a choice to throw in the towel or not proceed with what I was doing because I wasn’t a natural at it, but I chose instead to go for it anyway. I could let the pressure I felt from my peers debilitate me into only doing the things I’m comfortable with, or I could do it anyway and prove to myself that I don’t have to fit into the mold others may try to put me in. I know that it’s not just me who feels this way either.
Stereotyping and gender role issues affect everyone. A few days ago Craig was telling me that several of his co-workers had been to see “Wicked” over the weekend. He said that everyone enjoyed it, but the men in his office had a really hard time admitting that they had even gone to the show, let alone that they had enjoyed it. I’m sure that a lot of this was due to the idea that if they admit they enjoyed a musical, that must somehow make them less of a man or something. I often wonder what we miss out on in life because we’re too afraid to experience something different. The fear of being labeled into a stereotype can be a really crippling thing, and I think that’s unfortunate.
I know this affects women too. If a woman wants to play sports she can be labeled “too butch.” If she wants to be healthy and manage her weight she can be “anorexic.” A woman who’s married and doesn’t have children must “have something wrong with her.” None of these statements are true. If you view history and see what women have been able to accomplish by standing up and trying new things, you get an excellent example of just how amazing we can be as a society if we make the effort.
I know that it’s difficult to change behaviors, especially those that have long been present and accepted by the general public. I also think that when you’re willing to be a little more open-minded, and to stop perceiving things the way you’ve always been taught to do so, that you open your world to an entire new set of possibilities. Strike up a conversation with someone who doesn’t fit your normal comfort zone. Do something in your life that doesn’t follow the daily routine. I think if we all were willing to make a small step or two into something a bit out of our bubbles, we’d start a force that can change the way we live and interact with each other. You may learn a new talent you didn’t even realize you had, and you might make new friends too.
On Veterans Day, my sister and I decided to volunteer our time for the community. My brother-in-law was in the Marines, and I have other friends and family who have served our country, and I couldn’t think of a better way to honor them than by doing something to give to others. We decided to help set up displays at Water Works Park for the Jolly Holiday Lights festivities that will start soon. The Jolly Holiday Lights is an annual fundraiser for the Make-A-Wish foundation, and proceeds from the event go towards the granting of these wishes. I think this is such an amazing cause and organization, so I was more than happy to help.
Our volunteer job that day consisted of helping assemble the various light-up displays that people drive through and view. The displays are made of piping and wire and of course lots of lights. As these displays can be rather large, they aren’t stored in one piece, but broken down into smaller sections that are later assembled for display. We met with our volunteer crew to travel around the park and put the displays together. Upon meeting our crew leader, he gave a chuckle at us, and said “You two have never done this before, have you?” I don’t know if he was implying that we were wearing the wrong clothes, didn’t have the right tools, or what exactly, but it doesn’t give the best first impression.
After a quick explanation of what we would be doing, we set right into getting the displays put together. Our main task was to assemble the sections together, so a lot of bolt and screw tightening and loosening would be the task of the day. This sounds simple enough, but at times my sister and I both found this to be a challenge. Some of the bolts were very tight on the piping, and others were somewhat stripped and difficult to tighten into place. But faced with the task, we both jumped right in to help where we could and never complained about it.
After putting together maybe half a dozen displays or so, our volunteer leader said “You must have a desk job.” I jokingly replied “Is it that obvious?” but inside I admit I was a bit annoyed. Yes, I work at a desk every day. I don’t claim to be a pro when it comes to carpentry, mechanics and similar tasks. Regardless of that, I’m still willing to try it out and do what I can to help, especially when I know it’s for a good cause. As all of this was happening though, I began to question my “manliness.” It’s silly of me to do, but it’s something that happens from time to time. Certain social settings or situations can cause me to feel inadequate in some way. I know in my heart that I’m not, but I still admit to feeling that pressure from society to fit the norm of what people think I should be.
I can also feel this pressure from groups in which I do “belong.” Being a gay man, it’s often perceived that I have a knack for decorating and art. While I can tell you whether something looks nice or not, I’d never claim myself to be an interior designer. I recall an experience a few years ago where I was asked to wrap several boxes to serve as a holiday display for an employer. I can get wrapping paper on a box, but it’s not going to be pretty. One of my co-workers noticed me struggling to get one of the boxes covered. Her response was, “isn’t that like second nature to you?” Again I replied jokingly that I must have skipped that class during my training.
Upon reflection of all of this, I realize that in each of these situations, I had a choice to throw in the towel or not proceed with what I was doing because I wasn’t a natural at it, but I chose instead to go for it anyway. I could let the pressure I felt from my peers debilitate me into only doing the things I’m comfortable with, or I could do it anyway and prove to myself that I don’t have to fit into the mold others may try to put me in. I know that it’s not just me who feels this way either.
Stereotyping and gender role issues affect everyone. A few days ago Craig was telling me that several of his co-workers had been to see “Wicked” over the weekend. He said that everyone enjoyed it, but the men in his office had a really hard time admitting that they had even gone to the show, let alone that they had enjoyed it. I’m sure that a lot of this was due to the idea that if they admit they enjoyed a musical, that must somehow make them less of a man or something. I often wonder what we miss out on in life because we’re too afraid to experience something different. The fear of being labeled into a stereotype can be a really crippling thing, and I think that’s unfortunate.
I know this affects women too. If a woman wants to play sports she can be labeled “too butch.” If she wants to be healthy and manage her weight she can be “anorexic.” A woman who’s married and doesn’t have children must “have something wrong with her.” None of these statements are true. If you view history and see what women have been able to accomplish by standing up and trying new things, you get an excellent example of just how amazing we can be as a society if we make the effort.
I know that it’s difficult to change behaviors, especially those that have long been present and accepted by the general public. I also think that when you’re willing to be a little more open-minded, and to stop perceiving things the way you’ve always been taught to do so, that you open your world to an entire new set of possibilities. Strike up a conversation with someone who doesn’t fit your normal comfort zone. Do something in your life that doesn’t follow the daily routine. I think if we all were willing to make a small step or two into something a bit out of our bubbles, we’d start a force that can change the way we live and interact with each other. You may learn a new talent you didn’t even realize you had, and you might make new friends too.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Supportive parents
I'm sitting here on my couch this morning listening to the soundtrack to the musical "Aida." Last night, Craig and I were fortunate enough to get to see a performance of this musical at Lincoln High School here in Des Moines. Our good friend Jennie's son Matt was in the show and we went to cheer him on. Plus Craig and I enjoy watching a good musical if you can imagine that, so we were more than happy to attend.
The show was really good! I was fairly unfamiliar with the story and music, so it was a new experience for me. Many of the lead performers in the show had fantastic voices and did and excellent job of transporting me to Egypt for a few hours. The lead actress playing the character "Aida" was especially good and captivating.
After the performance we went out into the hallway to congratulate Matt and the cast. I was fortunate enough to run into the young actress who played Aida, and I told her to never stop singing, because she had such a beautiful voice. Her face lit up in a smile and she was very genuine in her thanks and support of the show. She also told us this was her very first experience in performing in a show or in front of a crowd. I was impressed with her poise and maturity even more after hearing that. Then our friend Jennie asked if the girl's family was there to see the show tonight. The girl said that he family was not in attendance that night. She said her mom hadn't been feeling well but she planned on making it the next day. I have to admit my heart just about broke when she said that. We congratulated her again for her performance and told her when her mom got to see her she was going to be so proud.
As Craig and I were walking to the car I was telling him how I was so surprised and shocked to hear that no one from this girl's family was able to attend the show to support her. Craig said he had heard other students making similar comments after the show, how they didn't have family there that night to support them either. I was really dismayed by hearing that and got to wondering how many of these young talents were there performing without the support of their family.
I have to provide some background at this point, because I imagine I might seem a bit off mark compared to the standard. My sister and I were both involved in the school musical and drama performances. We grew up in a smaller town, where every member of the school chorus was able to perform in the fall musical. We also were able to land roles in the spring play on several occassions through our involvment in the drama club. And at each and every show, my parents were in attendance.
My parents were neither one greatly involved in these activities when they were in school. My mom sang but never had aspirations to play the lead in a show. My dad is a typical dad who wouldn't actively pursue theater or musical performances. Yet at every show we were involved in, my parents were in the audience. During the combined years of school between my sister and I, we performed in 18 school musicals, and my parents attended all 18 shows. In my sister's senior year of high school she played the narrarator in "Little Shop of Horrors." The narrarator of the show had one line, the opening line of the show. She didn't even appear on stage, but spoke the line from the orchestra pit. And even then my parents attended every show.
So I come from a family that was very supportive of my sister and I's artistic endeavours. Because of this I probably have a spoiled view of what I I think should be the norm when it comes to supporting students and the arts. Not only did my parents support our efforts in choir and theater, but my parents were the parents who were supportive and involved in basically everything that my sister or I were involved in during school and beyond. If parents were needed to work a concession stand for a football game or a speech contest, my parents were there. If a chaperone was needed for a school band trip, my mom was sitting there on the bus. They watched cross country and track meets in the rain, snow and cold. We even travelled to Florida to watch my sister perform with the drill team at the Citrus bowl.
My parents fit into the role of parents for many of my sister and I's friends over the years as well. Hearing "your parents are so cool," was a common phrase from our friends and classmates. I admit at the time I found that more annoying than a compliment, but of course at the time I was a typical high school student who just wanted to have some alone time. In hindsight though, I realize just how incredibly lucky I was. When friends or classmates were saying "your parents are so cool," they were saying that it was cool to see parents involved in their kids lives and interests. My parents certainly weren't the only parents who were supportive on this level, but it made an impact on those students who didn't have someone there to support and cheer them on. And it made an impact on me.
My parents weren't "helicopter parents," but they were cheerleaders. They were the backstage crew who often went unnoticed. They were the booster club, the director's assistant, the team photographer and the craft services staff all wrapped into one. I honestly think if my parents, and the other parents who chose to get involved hadn't done so, the show definitely wouldn't have gone on.
As I think about the young girl who performed last night without any family support in the audience, I recognize that my parents will never receive the thanks they deserve for all of the support they give. I know that I can never truly thank them enough, but I can lead by their example. I don't have my own children at this time, but I can support the children of my other friends and family. When you go and watch a school musical, or cheer on the local sports team, or volunteer to work in the concession stands for the speech club, you're telling those students "I believe in you." You send a message to those students that says "what you are doing is important and meaningful."
I understand that parenting is difficult. It's a struggle in this day and age to be able to work, to support a family and to still pursue your own dreams. I watch friends of mine make decisions to miss their favorite TV show to go and work with the PTA, to give up a night of relaxing to watch a school production. I have friends who give up their free time on the weekend to travel with a sports team or to chaperone a youth group outing. I witness these examples of selflessness and I'm reminded of my parents. I know that to this day if I were to be involved in an activity or club, my parents would find a way to support the cause. And if they couldn't be there in person they'd still find a way to show their support, whether by providing supplies, donating funds, or by making sure someone from our family was there to show support in their place.
So if you're a parent, please consider the positive impact you make for your children when you choose to support them and their classmates in their endeavours. If you're not a parent, think about how you can still show support to the many talented students out there who would love to have an audience cheering them on. The high school student you root for today may be the Tony winner of tomorrow.
The show was really good! I was fairly unfamiliar with the story and music, so it was a new experience for me. Many of the lead performers in the show had fantastic voices and did and excellent job of transporting me to Egypt for a few hours. The lead actress playing the character "Aida" was especially good and captivating.
After the performance we went out into the hallway to congratulate Matt and the cast. I was fortunate enough to run into the young actress who played Aida, and I told her to never stop singing, because she had such a beautiful voice. Her face lit up in a smile and she was very genuine in her thanks and support of the show. She also told us this was her very first experience in performing in a show or in front of a crowd. I was impressed with her poise and maturity even more after hearing that. Then our friend Jennie asked if the girl's family was there to see the show tonight. The girl said that he family was not in attendance that night. She said her mom hadn't been feeling well but she planned on making it the next day. I have to admit my heart just about broke when she said that. We congratulated her again for her performance and told her when her mom got to see her she was going to be so proud.
As Craig and I were walking to the car I was telling him how I was so surprised and shocked to hear that no one from this girl's family was able to attend the show to support her. Craig said he had heard other students making similar comments after the show, how they didn't have family there that night to support them either. I was really dismayed by hearing that and got to wondering how many of these young talents were there performing without the support of their family.
I have to provide some background at this point, because I imagine I might seem a bit off mark compared to the standard. My sister and I were both involved in the school musical and drama performances. We grew up in a smaller town, where every member of the school chorus was able to perform in the fall musical. We also were able to land roles in the spring play on several occassions through our involvment in the drama club. And at each and every show, my parents were in attendance.
My parents were neither one greatly involved in these activities when they were in school. My mom sang but never had aspirations to play the lead in a show. My dad is a typical dad who wouldn't actively pursue theater or musical performances. Yet at every show we were involved in, my parents were in the audience. During the combined years of school between my sister and I, we performed in 18 school musicals, and my parents attended all 18 shows. In my sister's senior year of high school she played the narrarator in "Little Shop of Horrors." The narrarator of the show had one line, the opening line of the show. She didn't even appear on stage, but spoke the line from the orchestra pit. And even then my parents attended every show.
So I come from a family that was very supportive of my sister and I's artistic endeavours. Because of this I probably have a spoiled view of what I I think should be the norm when it comes to supporting students and the arts. Not only did my parents support our efforts in choir and theater, but my parents were the parents who were supportive and involved in basically everything that my sister or I were involved in during school and beyond. If parents were needed to work a concession stand for a football game or a speech contest, my parents were there. If a chaperone was needed for a school band trip, my mom was sitting there on the bus. They watched cross country and track meets in the rain, snow and cold. We even travelled to Florida to watch my sister perform with the drill team at the Citrus bowl.
My parents fit into the role of parents for many of my sister and I's friends over the years as well. Hearing "your parents are so cool," was a common phrase from our friends and classmates. I admit at the time I found that more annoying than a compliment, but of course at the time I was a typical high school student who just wanted to have some alone time. In hindsight though, I realize just how incredibly lucky I was. When friends or classmates were saying "your parents are so cool," they were saying that it was cool to see parents involved in their kids lives and interests. My parents certainly weren't the only parents who were supportive on this level, but it made an impact on those students who didn't have someone there to support and cheer them on. And it made an impact on me.
My parents weren't "helicopter parents," but they were cheerleaders. They were the backstage crew who often went unnoticed. They were the booster club, the director's assistant, the team photographer and the craft services staff all wrapped into one. I honestly think if my parents, and the other parents who chose to get involved hadn't done so, the show definitely wouldn't have gone on.
As I think about the young girl who performed last night without any family support in the audience, I recognize that my parents will never receive the thanks they deserve for all of the support they give. I know that I can never truly thank them enough, but I can lead by their example. I don't have my own children at this time, but I can support the children of my other friends and family. When you go and watch a school musical, or cheer on the local sports team, or volunteer to work in the concession stands for the speech club, you're telling those students "I believe in you." You send a message to those students that says "what you are doing is important and meaningful."
I understand that parenting is difficult. It's a struggle in this day and age to be able to work, to support a family and to still pursue your own dreams. I watch friends of mine make decisions to miss their favorite TV show to go and work with the PTA, to give up a night of relaxing to watch a school production. I have friends who give up their free time on the weekend to travel with a sports team or to chaperone a youth group outing. I witness these examples of selflessness and I'm reminded of my parents. I know that to this day if I were to be involved in an activity or club, my parents would find a way to support the cause. And if they couldn't be there in person they'd still find a way to show their support, whether by providing supplies, donating funds, or by making sure someone from our family was there to show support in their place.
So if you're a parent, please consider the positive impact you make for your children when you choose to support them and their classmates in their endeavours. If you're not a parent, think about how you can still show support to the many talented students out there who would love to have an audience cheering them on. The high school student you root for today may be the Tony winner of tomorrow.
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