Supportive parents

I'm sitting here on my couch this morning listening to the soundtrack to the musical "Aida." Last night, Craig and I were fortunate enough to get to see a performance of this musical at Lincoln High School here in Des Moines. Our good friend Jennie's son Matt was in the show and we went to cheer him on. Plus Craig and I enjoy watching a good musical if you can imagine that, so we were more than happy to attend.

The show was really good! I was fairly unfamiliar with the story and music, so it was a new experience for me. Many of the lead performers in the show had fantastic voices and did and excellent job of transporting me to Egypt for a few hours. The lead actress playing the character "Aida" was especially good and captivating.

After the performance we went out into the hallway to congratulate Matt and the cast. I was fortunate enough to run into the young actress who played Aida, and I told her to never stop singing, because she had such a beautiful voice. Her face lit up in a smile and she was very genuine in her thanks and support of the show. She also told us this was her very first experience in performing in a show or in front of a crowd. I was impressed with her poise and maturity even more after hearing that. Then our friend Jennie asked if the girl's family was there to see the show tonight. The girl said that he family was not in attendance that night. She said her mom hadn't been feeling well but she planned on making it the next day.  I have to admit my heart just about broke when she said that. We congratulated her again for her performance and told her when her mom got to see her she was going to be so proud.

As Craig and I were walking to the car I was telling him how I was so surprised and shocked to hear that no one from this girl's family was able to attend the show to support her. Craig said he had heard other students making similar comments after the show, how they didn't have family there that night to support them either. I was really dismayed by hearing that and got to wondering how many of these young talents were there performing without the support of their family.

I have to provide some background at this point, because I imagine I might seem a bit off mark compared to the standard. My sister and I were both involved in the school musical and drama performances. We grew up in a smaller town, where every member of the school chorus was able to perform in the fall musical. We also were able to land roles in the spring play on several occassions through our involvment in the drama club. And at each and every show, my parents were in attendance.

My parents were neither one greatly involved in these activities when they were in school. My mom sang but never had aspirations to play the lead in a show. My dad is a typical dad who wouldn't actively pursue theater or musical performances. Yet at every show we were involved in, my parents were in the audience. During the combined years of school between my sister and I, we performed in 18 school musicals, and my parents attended all 18 shows. In my sister's senior year of high school she played the narrarator in "Little Shop of Horrors." The narrarator of the show had one line, the opening line of the show. She didn't even appear on stage, but spoke the line from the orchestra pit. And even then my parents attended every show.

So I come from a family that was very supportive of my sister and I's artistic endeavours. Because of this I probably have a spoiled view of what I I think should be the norm when it comes to supporting students and the arts. Not only did my parents support our efforts in choir and theater, but my parents were the parents who were supportive and involved in basically everything that my sister or I were involved in during school and beyond. If parents were needed to work a concession stand for a football game or a speech contest, my parents were there. If a chaperone was needed for a school band trip, my mom was sitting there on the bus. They watched cross country and track meets in the rain, snow and cold. We even travelled to Florida to watch my sister perform with the drill team at the Citrus bowl.

My parents fit into the role of parents for many of my sister and I's friends over the years as well. Hearing "your parents are so cool," was a common phrase from our friends and classmates. I admit at the time I found that more annoying than a compliment, but of course at the time I was a typical high school student who just wanted to have some alone time. In hindsight though, I realize just how incredibly lucky I was. When friends or classmates were saying "your parents are so cool," they were saying that it was cool to see parents involved in their kids lives and interests. My parents certainly weren't the only parents who were supportive on this level, but it made an impact on those students who didn't have someone there to support and cheer them on. And it made an impact on me.

My parents weren't "helicopter parents," but they were cheerleaders. They were the backstage crew who often went unnoticed. They were the booster club, the director's assistant, the team photographer and the craft services staff all wrapped into one. I honestly think if my parents, and the other parents who chose to get involved hadn't done so, the show definitely wouldn't have gone on.

As I think about the young girl who performed last night without any family support in the audience, I recognize that my parents will never receive the thanks they deserve for all of the support they give. I know that I can never truly thank them enough, but I can lead by their example. I don't have my own children at this time, but I can support the children of my other friends and family. When you go and watch a school musical, or cheer on the local sports team, or volunteer to work in the concession stands for the speech club, you're telling those students "I believe in you." You send a message to those students that says "what you are doing is important and meaningful."

I understand that parenting is difficult. It's a struggle in this day and age to be able to work, to support a family and to still pursue your own dreams. I watch friends of mine make decisions to miss their favorite TV show to go and work with the PTA, to give up a night of relaxing to watch a school production. I have friends who give up their free time on the weekend to travel with a sports team or to chaperone a youth group outing. I witness these examples of selflessness and I'm reminded of my parents.  I know that to this day if I were to be involved in an activity or club, my parents would find a way to support the cause. And if they couldn't be there in person they'd still find a way to show their support, whether by providing supplies, donating funds, or by making sure someone from our family was there to show support in their place.

So if you're a parent, please consider the positive impact you make for your children when you choose to support them and their classmates in their endeavours. If you're not a parent, think about how you can still show support to the many talented students out there who would love to have an audience cheering them on. The high school student you root for today may be the Tony winner of tomorrow.