A spiritual Sunday

Good evening to all of those out in the blogosphere.  I'm going to give the disclaimer right at the beginning here that this post is going to be somewhat touchy-feely, philosophized and what not. If your mind isn't in the place to handle more serious and thought-provoking topics this might not be your favorite post of mine. I also understand that I may provide some thoughts and opinions that may seem controversial or different from others. We're all adults here and I think we're mature enough to handle it. I have had a really great day though and I want to share with everyone, so here goes.

I am a member of Plymouth Church here in Des Moines. It's a wonderful place and I am truly blessed to be a member. I have been a member just over a year and a half at this point and it's been one of the most rewarding experiences I've encountered. I can't say that I've been a model member and I've probably missed more sermons than I've attended, but I'm a work in progress and I'm feeling more driven to be connected, and I think that's a good thing.

I should probably give some background before I go further with my discussion for today. I grew up in a church-going family. I was raised in a Baptist home and attended the local baptist church in my hometown. And when I say I attended, I mean that I was there just about every possible time that I could be there. A typical week for me began with Sunday school , followed by Sunday service, then youth group and Sunday evening service. Tuesday mornings I would go to church youth breakfast before schools. Most Wednesday nights I would attend a youth group meeting or Wednesday evening service, and if there was a youth group event going on for the weekend I was there Friday or Saturday as well.

I know that many of the beliefs and ideals that I follow today came from this exposure and upbringing. I don't regret any of the time I spent involved in my church family and I am glad that my family chose to bring me up in this manner. But, I can also say that from an early age I remember finding discrepancies with how I felt about life and how I was being taught to view life. Many times I came home from a sermon or class feeling like there was something out of sorts. It just felt like the golden rule wasn't being followed, and it was more about how I needed to be converting people to my way of thinking instead of respecting and appreciating the diverse population we live in. It seemed like anyone who was "different" was either "in the wrong" or in some kind of cult. It also didn't help that by this time I was starting to wonder whether I myself was who I had been pretending to be, and if you've ever felt like you had to be someone else in order to fit in then you know where I'm coming from. Please understand though that this is my experience only, and I know that others may have felt differently in the same situation. I'm not trying to bad mouth anyone here, but simply give my perspective on the situation.

Getting out of that environment and heading to college was very beneficial for me in a lot of ways. I learned to start questioning what I had always been told and to start forming my own ideas. Some of the principles I'd been brought up on still held, but meeting others and getting new veiwpoints really helped me to broaden my horizons and to gain valuable life experience I had been missing out on. I was also able to finally come to terms with myself and my identity, and that was a big relief. Unfortunately once I realized that I was who I was, most of my connection with the church and my upbringing had to be put to the side. It's very tough to feel excluded from something you've always felt a connection to just because you want to be yourself. I couldn't imagine being a member of a church who would condemn me for being who I was or who would try to "correct" what they felt was an issue.

It took a long time for me to start trusting in God again because of this experience. It wasn't until I met Craig that I began to realize what I had been missing in my life for such a long time. One of the first things about Craig that really appealed to me was his connection to his family, and to his active involvement in church. Craig mentioned very early on in our relationship that he belonged to Plymouth church. I had heard a little about Plymouth, and recognized the name from some of their advertisements. They are very vocal about saying that "all are welcome," and when I met Craig, someone who was "like me" who was a member, I decided to give it a chance.

I remember the first time I went to Plymouth with Craig. I was a bit overwhelmed really, in the best sense of the word.  I was back in a church, I hadn't burst into flames, and I was really enjoying myself. I got a good message from the sermon that morning, and I remember meeting one of the pastor's after the service. He made me feel genuinely welcomed, and it was enough to get me back. Craig and I continued to attend services, and after a few months I decided that I was ready to make the next step and become a member. It was a beautiful and overwhelming moment for me, and I was blessed to have my family and Craig's family there as I made the committment.

After becoming a member and feeling so confident, God decided to throw some tests at Craig and I. My mom and aunt battled breast cancer (and won!) and Craig's mom fought a valiant battle with pancreatic cancer. Craig also lost his grandmother during that time, and there were days where I asked "what next, God?" But as things always do, with time and patience I was reminded that even though I may not understand the plan, or the reasoning behind it, there's always a plan in place.

Ok, so a little background ended up being quite a bit of information, but I think it will be helpful in the long run if you understand where I've been and where I'm coming from. I'm now caught up to my great day today. First, we went to Sunday morning service to her our pastor Matt give a sermon. This was especially good because I had a small part in helping put the sermon together. Matt is currently working on his doctorate, and he's asked some different church members to serve on a committee to help him to examine a more vulnerable style of preaching. It's interesting to have the behind the scenes aspect of putting a sermon together. Matt has also introduced me to a form of meditation and reflection on written text which has been really rewarding.

After the sermon we had a meeting of the committee to discuss what worked about the sermon and the message. It's always interesting to get the different perspectives of the group from a message that we all heard at the same time. I left the meeting feeling spiritually connected, and as it was such a beautiful fall day in November, I decided to go and enjoy it. Craig had plans with his brother and I had the afternoon to myself. I drove to downtown Des Moines, got a cup of coffee, and found a nice bench in the sunshine. I sat and read for a while, and then just sat and reflected on so many of the blessings I have in my life. It was a really great moment and I'm so happy I got to enjoy that today. The small moments of peace in the day can be the most rewarding I think.

Those moments alone were rewarding, but to top that off tonight we went to a "Fan the Flame" dinner at Plymouth. Over the last year or so the church has been looking at a plan to help strengthen the church experience and to help us move to the next level. We got to sit with several members I'd never had the pleasure to meet and we got to hear the vision that Plymouth has planned for the future. It was so inspiring and energizing. It makes me want to be more involved.

Craig and I also had a personal, moving experience during the evening's presentation. One of the goals of our new plan is to develop more "small group" experiences, where Plymouth members can get together to really know each other personally and spiritually. As a small group exercise, we got to talk with the other members at our tables about the plans and what excited us or what gave us concerns. We also got to share something that we counted as a blessing from Plymouth in the past year. Craig and I both said, without a doubt, that our biggest blessing was having Matt marry us and knowing that our church family welcomed and accepted us as a married couple.  When the presenter called us back to order she asked if anyone was willing to share their blessing with the group. With the encouragement of our table mates, I stood and shared our blessing. I was overwhelmed by emotion, but it was so incredible to see so many loving and supportive faces and to hear cheers and applause from so many of our church family members. I was definitely moved by the spirit in that moment. I do count it as a blessing to be a member of a church that accepts me for who I am when so many others wouldn't give me the time of day.

So that's the vibe I'm feeling right now. I feel like I'm in a really good place and that I'm truly blessed. I don't claim to have the answers or that I'm following the "right" path for everyone, but for me I know that at Plymouth I'm truly at home. If you'd ever like to come visit, please let me know. You are truly welcome there.